


Speaking in Code

by jendavis



Category: Community
Genre: Community: comment_fic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-20
Updated: 2011-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-27 13:59:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/296610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jendavis/pseuds/jendavis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: The text is so abbreviated and full of emoticons that the recipient can't figure out what it means.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Speaking in Code

Even after being waylaid by the plumbers, who again had offered him the chance of an extraordinary life that didn't include making movies or blanket forts, Troy was only running a few minutes late. Still, though, he was a little surprised that they were texting him already as he began to cut through the south parking lot. He wasn't _that_ late.

He grinned. The message was from Abed- maybe he had another idea for the space battle they were going to shoot in the quad that afternoon.

 _Fair warning: we're going to need a new [:|] costume for l8r) otherwise the [:|] / :-: fight scene won't work._

Troy blinked down at his phone, trying to make Abed's text mean something. It wasn't working.

 _What?_

 _Britta's >:-( her [:-) gave her a ~#:-( @(-_-)@ stole Annie's pen again & the [:|] costume got broken while :)] and |:-{)~ were trying to catch @(-_-)@_

A quick _WTF?_ was all Troy could manage. Maybe there was something wrong with his phone. Or Abed's. Everything was a jumbled mess, like when a computer stopped working right, or when it was becoming sentient and starting in on its plan of global domination. Maybe it was starting with Abed's phone- maybe they were going to be the first to be globally dominated. Maybe it had already gotten to Abed. The next message didn't reassure him otherwise.

 _Yeah. Now Annie is ='( and Shirley is [-o_

 _What r u talking about?_ Troy glanced up to make sure he wasn't about to crash into a parked car as he typed. _ur not making sense!_

 _Oh. Annie said I was :-| so I looked on the (co) to learn how to :-0 more clearly._

 _Whatever it is, it's not working._

 _I also remain :-7 as to its use. :-S_

Parked cars and other pedestrians forgotten, Troy stared at his phone, trying and failing to understand, and ran a quick inventory to make sure he hadn't actually lost his mind.

Annie's Boobs- all three of them, were still awesome. Lavar Burton was still his favorite actor and still _out there_ , somewhere, _existing_ , and that was still terrifying. And Abed was still his best friend.

Troy was fine.

But something was wrong. Something was off with Abed, and not in the way that people usually thought. This off felt _wrong_ , like last Christmas, when he'd thought they were all claymation.

Troy checked his watch again. He'd be in the library in a few minutes, but this was troubling enough that he needed a plan. A solution. He forced himself to stop walking, fast enough that someone crashed into him from behind.

It was Starburns. He had Starburns cooties on his arm now. Wonderful. Troy, though, was resolute. He stepped off the sidewalk and onto the grass, and fired off another text message. Because when you needed a solution, you needed Jeff.

 _Hey man what's up with Abed?_

 _Don't know. He's hiding on the couch. Keeping out of the crossfire. Can't really see, but he's either concentrating hard or tuning out completely._

 _What crossfire?!_

It was a few long moments, filled with thoughts of Abed cowering behind the sofa fighting to survive, threats and danger and paintball, before Jeff's reply arrived.

 _Started with Britta. Her hair got stuck in her headphones & she's being a hellbeast about it. And that damned monkey stole Annie's pens again. _

As explanations go, it didn't even come close to answering his question, and his feet were moving again before the next message arrived.

 _Annie's in tears. Pierce crashed into those damned boxes chasing the monkey. Shirley's praying for all of our souls, though. So we're good._

Troy ran. If Shirley's praying was actually _needed_ at this point, things must've been worse than he'd imagined. Up the sidewalk and into the library, past the checkout counter and around the stacks, past the Dean in his fireman outfit, and finally the study room was in sight, the blinds closed. He could hear the shouting, but there were no gunshots, no smoke. Just Jeff, Pierce and Britta arguing, with Annie's wails cutting over the top.

Wary at what he was about to find, he slowly moved into the doorway.

Shirley had an arm over Annie's shoulders, glaring at Pierce, who was grinning unrepentantly at Britta's tirade. Jeff had his back to them, his fingers pressed against his temples, and was the first to notice Troy when he glanced up. Troy's gaze slid over the crushed cardboard in the middle of the room- it had taken three days of dumpster diving to find enough boxes, and they'd run out of silver paint halfway through, but Abed had talked about framing the shots and it wouldn't have been a big deal, only they were destroyed, now.

He was staring at the boxes because he was a little afraid of looking at the couch.

When he did, Abed waved, but he didn't get up.

He could feel their eyes on them as everyone fell silent, and his voice was too loud as he entered the room.

"What's going on?"

Pierce let out a disparaging growl, interrupting whatever Britta had been about to say. "That damned monkey-"

Troy shook his head. Annie's Boobs could wait. Abed's eyes were wide, watching him sidestep the boxes, and right now would be a good time for the Dean to step in to distract the others. It was a little weird, them watching them like this. "I thought you'd caught a computer virus."

"I'm not insane," Abed said, shaking his head. "I'm merely embracing the colloquialisms of the twenty-first century."

"I didn't understand anything you were saying." Abed knowing exactly what Troy was thinking was as relieving as it always was. "It was like 'streets ahead' all over again." Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Annie smiling as she blew her nose. Shirley, too, looked like she was watching kittens. He hated it when the girls did that, because they never shared the kittens with the rest of the group.

Abed frowned, glancing down at what he'd already scrawled in his notebook speculatively. "That's a problem. I've been thinking. The range of emoticons commonly accepted in day-to-day use are constricting, especially in the verbs department, and they seem overly concerned with explaining basic states of being. What we need to do is set up our own list, populate it with terms and phrases that would be relevant to own contexts."

Troy frowned, pondering. "Like a secret language?" The thought made him giddy.

"Come on," Jeff groaned loudly. "You have like eight of them already, not counting funny dances. Wasn't learning Klingon bad enough?"

Troy glared at him over his shoulder. "You know damned well that Klingon is only relevant when you're talking about Klingon _things_."

"I stand corrected," Jeff muttered. "This is completely sane and healthy." It sounded like he was being sarcastic, but then again, Jeff never liked their awesome ideas. It wasn't going to be special handshake-awesome until they'd finished, so Troy sat down next to Abed, who already was sketching out ideas, and they got started.


End file.
